as i was looking at my blog today i realized that i have only one post from the last month. one. from a girl who has been known to post daily. and there's one. this month has been the hardest month i have ever been through. seeing my mom's health so quickly decline. and then to be with her as she passed on. to go through the motions of planing and being a part of her viewing services and funeral and laying her to rest. sadness interlaced with some of the most proud moments i've ever had and some of the most spiritual, peaceful moments and amazing moments with my family. none of which i completely know how to internalize. hence the picture. it makes me think of direction. it makes me think of being left to the elements on which way i need to go. it makes me feel helpless. helpless.
but not completely. each day i feel like i am able to get a grip on the direction i need to be going. each day i make it through taking care of the kids, grocery shopping, and cleaning my house (not totally clean but close to my standard). if i've learned anything from the past few years of my mom's life it was to live each day to the fullest. life is a blessing. the family i have, each individual is a blessing to me. the friends friends i have who have been showing me so much love and support at this time are also all blessings in my life. waking up each day knowing that i am a daughter of God who loves me and is aware of my needs is a great blessing. and having 28 years of my life to learn and grow from the example of my mom is also a blessing. she has helped me find my direction and become the person i am today. i need to not lose my direction but hold on tight to it and become all that she would want me to become...the same thing my Heavenly Father wants me to become.
a righteous example of a daughter of God, one who can help others just as all of you have helped me. one who isn't quick to anger. one who lives each day to its fullest potential. one who emits the light of Christ and can strengthen others with that light.
each day i feel my strength coming back. each day i am closer to the path. thank you all for the love and support you have shown me through this all. thank you all for your help in getting be there, thank you all for helping me find my direction.
8 comments:
Love you Mauri!
You have done the same to use with your example! Love you:)
Ditto to Brittney. Love you. Don't be afraid to call if you need anything!
You are a strong woman and I can only imagine what it would be like to go through what you went through. I admire you for hanging in there and going day by day. Happy Birthday to your mom - I know today must be a hard day. My thoughts are with you.
I am so glad to see you blogging again. I've been missing the daily posts:) Hang in there, we are think about you everyday.
We are so very sorry for your loss Mauri! We're praying for you and your family! <3
You've been in my thoughts every day, Mauri. I love you. I'm always here for you if you need anything. I sure do miss living right next door to you!
I've been thinking of you all so much and please know that you're in our prayers. I consider myself lucky to have you as a sister-in-law. We're here for you if you ever need anything.
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